Sunday, September 19, 2010

attempts to come alive

set aside for lustful and low pleasures

cast down by unrest and bitter thoughts

a soul disquieted

                                a life of their own     in their whirling they ran

             a glowing cigarette tip

                                              a soft peal in the darkness

              a high throaty voice

unrest issued like a wave of sound

     sentiment of the opening       languor       supple movement
  hear the faint rhythm of the music
the door again


  1. How do you read your poetry out loud? How do these breaks factor in to the voiced quality of the piece?

  2. The "voiced quality" of poetry is a good point- especially since the way you have the poetry laid out now, it has a rather strong visual quality, which I would imagine would be lost when read aloud.

    On that note however, you have a striking talent with visual imagery through word association. Almost like a stream of consciousness of images, sounds, and other sensations. Keep posting your writing!

  3. @ Rhysode: I use line breaks as pauses, like a normal break would be; however, I strongly dislike left-justified poetry. I think it ignores a VERY important aspect of a poem, which is how it's seen. The best example I can think of is E.E. Cummings "l(a". It's four words long but the form of it puts so much into the poem. People forget that.

    And to Anonymous, the visual quality is lost when read aloud :/ I have yet to figure out how to get it to cary through. Maybe I can upload a sound clip of me reading my poetry aloud. Hah! that'd be fun.